Santa Wig And Beard

We know you’ve been thinking of skimping on your Santa costume this year. Naughty. But we want to ask you: who is Santa without his Santa Wig and Beard?

You feel a little silly now don’t you? Just think of the irrevocable psychological damage a move like yours would inflict. A Santa without a beard? A Santa without his beloved curly white mop? Naughty, naughty, naughty. Christmas would be thrown into utter chaos. Elves would erupt in anarchy, planning a coup d’état instead of toiling away on the toys. And the children—think of the children!—would scream and beat their chests so loudly until you rue the day you didn’t dress to the specifications of the role. Yes, all these things will happen. And yes, we’ll call you up to say “told you so.”